I thought I was the only one who experienced having conversations in my mind. For many years, the voice in my head was usually accusatory, always quick to point out my flaws and mistakes, reminding me of past sinful experiences which I had confessed, and just making me feel inadequate and small.
For a long time I thought it was my conscience talking to me. But it just didn’t make any sense especially when this voice was always making me look bad even for things that were not my fault or for sins God had already forgiven me of. So what was that voice?
The Accuser! The devil. I don’t mean to frighten you, but the devil is real. And his target is you and I. The Bible says in John chapter 10 verse 10 shows us that the purpose of the enemy or thief is, “to steal, kill and destroy”. He wants us to live defeated, unfulfilled lives, far from God’s intentions.
God on the other hand wants us to have and enjoy our lives. He wants us to have peace regardless of our circumstances. And He wants us to have joy, which is a calm confidence in Him.
How does the thief or the devil steal our peace and joy? Mostly in our minds because if he can get our minds, then he can get our lives. Our minds are the battlefield like Joyce Meyer says and the devil sends ugly and negative thoughts as his weapons of choice. Some of these thoughts could be:
“I am ugly”
“I am a bad mother/father/son/daughter/wife/husband/friend, etc”
“I will never amount to anything good”
“God is disappointed in me”
“I am a failure!”
“My sins are unforgivable”
These thoughts take root and become powerful when we actually believe them. Before long, we are demonstrating these same things in our actions and running away from God.
Just because a thought comes into your mind doesn’t mean you are the source, it might just be a lying thought from the devil. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:16 that we should take up the shield of faith in order to extinguish the fiery darts/arrows of the enemy. I believe the fiery darts spoken of here could be seen as those negative and accusatory thoughts we sometimes have.
How can we use faith to protect ourselves? I believe faith is seeing ourselves the way God sees us. God has good thoughts concerning us and approves of us as unique persons. When He created us he said “you are good” just like He did in the story of the creation in Genesis. So quit saying you are ugly or there is something wrong with you. You are perfect before God!
You are worthy of love because God first loves you. Even if your parents or friends do not love you as you would like, God’s love for you is perfect. He started loving you even before you were born! This should transform the way you see yourself or allow others to treat you. You are worthy of love.
Perhaps you have committed a sin and feel like you have disappointed God. If you have confessed it and are truly sorry for it and making efforts to discipline yourself from repeating it, then refuse to feel condemned. You will be reminded of your past sins, your failures, and other less-than-perfect moments of your life. But you must exercise faith that God has forgiven and forgotten about your sins. You must remind yourself that God loves you and is willing to help you.
Remind yourself that God is not disappointed in you. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows our strengths and weaknesses and loves us all the same. You can never, ever let God down! Never!
God approves of the baby steps of progress you are making. He delights in your persistence to grow and know Him. Don’t feel disappointed that you are not a super Christian as another person. Don’t compare yourself with sister A or brother B. Just don’t be passive about your life, and don’t think God is only impressed when you do ‘big’ things for Him.
But sometimes God speaks to us about areas in our lives where we should change. Perhaps in time management, or in our relationships with our spouses, friends, or even children. How do we know when its God’s voice versus the enemy? It’s simple. God convicts, the enemy condemns. God via our consciences gently shows us that what we did, said or thought, was wrong.
The enemy on the other hand uses that wrong doing to make us feel condemned and unworthy of God’s love. He tells us we have disappointed God and should not go to Him. Which was the second mistake of Adam and Eve: hiding from God after they ate the forbidden fruit because they felt bad.
But God is loving, so He went after them. And yes they were punished for their sinful behaviour, but He also made clothes for them to protect them. And He is the same way with us, He may not be happy with our behaviour but He can never stop loving us. What we do is different from who we are. A mother may not always like what her son does, but she can never stop loving him as a person.
The devil is a liar, don’t believe his lies about what you have done or how God cannot help you. Don’t believe the negative condemning thoughts that assault your mind. God is for you, He loves you passionately and wants to comfort you and strengthen you. You can never disappoint Him. You haven’t gone too far from Him, His hand can still reach you and pluck you back. And He may be using this article to tell you how much he loves you and wants to give you peace again. Believe again and run back to Him, not away from Him. It is only through Him that we can become whole and clothed again.
God is for you and He loves you!